SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD
We were talking.
He interrupted.
He wanted a glass of milk. She wanted him to be quiet. He insisted and he threw a tantrum. She got impatient and threatened to hit him with a cane if he didn't stop talking. He got up, snatched the cane from her, ran and locked himself in a room, slamming the door with a loud bang.
She threatened. She persuaded. He refused to open the door. She got hold of the master key and opened the door. In a fit of anger, he broke the cane into pieces, sat on the floor and refused to budge. She dragged him but still he refused to move.
I'm an advocate of "love" therapy. That is, you teach your child by showering them with love. They should obey you because they love you and not just because they are afraid of you. Now, I may have to reconsider my stand.
I believe a person's character is innate. They are born with a set of characteristics that may be influenced but certain attributes would have been formed since a long time ago and will not change. Every baby is born different, some may cry more, others less. Some may smile more, others less. These small details are not at all insignificant, they will in due time translate into a person's character. Every individual is unique and henceforth, the way to deal with them should also differ.
Coming from a typical and traditional Chinese family, K is being treated differently at home because he's the youngest and more importantly he's the only boy at home. (He is fourth in line, with three older sisters.) You can imagine how pampered and spoilt he is. He can get away with alot of things easily. Such as folding paper planes and flying them out of the window of his flat and also shinning this huge torchlight into somebody else's home.
I suppose his parents love him so much and they couldn't bring themselves to be stricter towards him. But little do they know that sparing the rod and spoiling the child would actually do him more harm then good. He gets away each time he throws a tantrum and at the end of it all, he emerges as the ultimate winner of the "game". For he knows that throwing a tantrum would win him his way. I regret to say that if not corrected, he may just grow up to be insolent and wilful.
Things are always easier said than done. I do hope that I will (in future) be able to draw a line between loving and spoiling. Loving is good but spoiling is bad. Discipline should be implemented if need be. Children are impressionable, they learn something bad and if not corrected, they will not know that what they do is wrong. When it becomes a habit, that is where the problem sets in.
In life, we always talk about striking a balance. Too little is no good but too much is no good either. Being overly strict is not always wise, your child may fear you to ever want to confide in you. The right tactics to be used boils down to the character of your child. If what you implement and do now isn't really working, perhaps you'd like to change your perspective and change your way in dealing. It may just work out. Give up! And let God take over.